I was recently convicted by the Holy Spirit when I realized that what I said about someone was not innocent words but gossip. I felt even more convicted when I examined what the Bible says about gossip.
There’s the possibility that all of us gossip more than we realize, so what does the Bible say about gossip? We may not think that asking for prayer for someone or helping someone understand someone else is gossiping, but it could be. We may incorrectly believe we are not gossiping when we talk about someone because we will feel better afterward and be able to love them better.
But there are many forms of gossip.
Novelist and journalist Jessica Brodie explains, “Gossiping is when someone reveals personal or sensational facts about others—talking about people and their private lives and intimate details, often habitually.” Let’s dive into what the Bible says about gossip—first, about its warnings.
Does the Bible Ever Warn Us about Gossip?
The Bible warns us about gossip very clearly. The NIV translation uses the word “gossip” eight times. The Living Bible gives 13 references, whereas the ESV refers to it four times. But The Message uses the word gossip and its derivatives 49 times. The meaning uses various synonyms. In every instance, gossip is presented as something wrong and dishonoring God, disrupting relationships, and negatively affecting life. The Bible never presents it as a useful or positive practice.
Look at these descriptions of the word “gossip” or “gossiper” in Hebrew and Greek according to different versions:
- talebearer (DARBY, GNV)
- tell people’s secrets (EASY)
- slanderer (NASB)
- bad talk (NLV)
Both the Old Testament and New Testament warn us of its destructiveness. The Old Testament advises us: “When you hear a rumor, don’t assume it’s true” (Ezekiel 36:3). As someone has said, “A gossip always creates the smoke in which other people assume there’s a fire.”
And what does the Bible call the person who spreads gossip? Look at these two versions of Proverbs 16:28:
“A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.” (ESV)
“A perverse person spreads strife, And a slanderer separates close friends.” (NASB)
Do any of us want to be regarded by God as a dishonest person who whispers? Or a perverse person who slanders others? Of course not.
And lest we think the New Testament leaves out God’s view of gossip and slanderers, we should be sobered by these verses.
The Apostle Paul writes:
“And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents.” (Romans 1:28-30)
Since gossip is included among such sinful choices, and we’ve all gossiped at one time or another, what Bible stories can help us take it seriously?
What Bible Stories Show Us the Dangers of Gossip?
The Apostle Paul included gossip in describing what he was concerned he would find when he visited the believers in Corinth. He writes to them in Second Corinthians 12:20 (ESV),
“For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.”
Gossip is included in his list of severely sinful actions. And right before his words, he contrasts God’s good goal:
“Have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves to you? It is in the sight of God that we have been speaking in Christ, and all for your upbuilding, beloved” (emphasis added).
His list of evil deeds is the opposite of building up other people.
Paul also writes to Timothy about the character of godly women, especially those women who are pastor’s wives.
“Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.” (1 Timothy 3:11 NASB)
In the same letter, Paul urges Timothy to help younger widows identify the temptations of being widowed or not having a family to care for.
“At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also they become gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention.” (1 Timothy 5:13 NASB)
Paul’s solution? “Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, have children, manage their households, and give the enemy no opportunity for reproach; for some have already turned away to follow Satan” (1 Timothy 5:14 NASB).
These verses warn us that sinful habits must be corrected even among believing women in the congregation. One of them was gossip, which was fueled by idleness and lack of purpose.
That’s one motivation for gossip; let’s look at others.
What Behaviors Often Motivate Gossip?
Someone has said, “Gossip is one form of crime for which the law provides no punishment.” That may be true, but the result is deeply wounding.
Gossip is a symptom of deeper things in the heart—the motives. When we hear or want to gossip, we can ask ourselves, “Why do I want to do this? What do I think I will gain? Or, what am I lacking that I think gossiping will supply me?”
These questions can help us follow Jesus’s instructions in Matthew 12:34: “You offspring of vipers, how can you, being evil, express any good things? For the mouth speaks from that which fills the heart.”
Every reaction starts with a heart’s motivation for good or selfishness. We must then choose God’s way, not our own. Proverbs 18:8 warns us, “The words of a gossiper are like dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts of the body” (NASB). The Good News Translation (GNT) importantly expresses this truth: “Gossip is so tasty—how we love to swallow it!”
If we see the seriousness of this sin, we can stop thinking it’s not a big deal. Remembering the damage to the souls, spirits, hearts, and minds of others and ourselves, we will be persuaded to hold our tongue. One aspect of that damage that we don’t often recognize is betrayal. Just ask the Psalmist, David. He wrote, "They visit me as if they were my friends, but all the while they gather gossip, and when they leave, they spread it everywhere. All who hate me whisper about me, imagining the worst" (Psalm 41:6-7 NLT).
Annie Yorty writes about this verse, “Being on the receiving end of gossip cuts deep, leaving lasting scars. David's heart stung from the whips of lies and betrayal. Years later, crowds clamored for the flogging and execution of Jesus, David's offspring, because evil men spread lies about Him. The same sinful tendency toward gossip is passed down through generations to us today.”
Seeing other damaging consequences of gossip can help us examine our hearts where evil desires lurk.
Matthew 12:34 enlightens us with Jesus’s warning, “You offspring of vipers, how can you, being evil, express any good things? For the mouth speaks from that which fills the heart” (NASB). Here are some five heart motivations we should be looking for.
1. Anger. When we’re angry at someone, even if they have sinfully hurt us, we may think gossip will help us feel better. But Proverbs 26:23 warns us that our gossip will only worsen things: “Gossip brings anger just as surely as the north wind brings rain” (GNT).
2. Jealousy and Envy. When we are jealous, we compare ourselves with a seemingly superior person and then gossip about them to tear them down. But we only invite destruction because people will view us as lying and fools. Proverbs 10:18 reveals, “One who conceals hatred has lying lips, And one who spreads slander is a fool” (NASB).
Someone has said, “Plant a little gossip, and you will reap a harvest of regret.”
3. Pride. Our foolishness is expressed in gossip because the words and actions of others hurt our pride. We react with gossip, thinking the attention will be on another person instead of how we feel exposed. Similarly, we are fools trying to blame someone else for the problem. Instead of trusting God for our reputation, we tell others about the person who sinned.
4. Virtual Signaling. We must wisely ask for the Holy Spirit’s heart examination and guidance before we share a prayer request about another person's struggles. Often, our real goal is to “signal our virtue.” The temptation to gossip can be so overpowering that we can’t resist. As someone has said, “Gossip is winding up your tongue and letting it go.”
5. Drama and Strife. Ask yourself if you want drama. Proverbs 16:28 instructs us, “Gossip is spread by wicked people; they stir up trouble and break up friendships” (GNT). Similarly, Proverbs 26:21 tells us, “Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, So is a contentious person to kindle strife” (NASB).
Annie Yorty writes, “In the same way, some folks delight in stirring up drama purely for entertainment value. Just a few minutes spent on Twitter proves how quickly an argument blazes from a single tweet. We've all seen drama within our own social circles as well. A mess of tangled emotions and broken relationships inevitably follows.”
It’s hard to believe at times that we could desire drama. However, some people grow up surrounded by chaos and only feel comfortable when they have drama to solve or when they have to keep their focus away from themselves.
How can we resist these five temptations?
How Can We Avoid Gossip?
After we examine our heart’s motivations, here are some practical spiritual guidelines.
- If you won’t tell someone something to their face, you shouldn’t tell anyone else.
- Want the best for another person.
- Trust God will give us what is best. We don’t have to force it by talking about others.
- At the moment, evaluate if what you want to say is the total truth without exaggeration. Franklin P. Jones warns us, “Not everyone repeats gossip. Some improve it.”
- Think through what might happen if you say what you think. Err on the side of caution since the results could be disastrous. Someone has said, “Gossip is like mud thrown on a clean wall. It may not stick, but it always leaves a dirty mark.”
- Desire to be a confidence keeper. We should want to be considered trustworthy as Proverbs 11:13 says, “One who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, But one who is trustworthy conceals a matter.”
- Speak fewer words than more. Henry C. Blinn wisely said, “All truths must not be told at all times.” Proverbs 20:19 agrees: “A gossip can never keep a secret. Stay away from people who talk too much” (GNT).
- Get in touch with your feelings. Anxiety makes it very difficult to withhold words stored in our minds and hearts. Choose silence first and pray about it.
All of us can feel saddened knowing we have gossiped about others. But that doesn’t mean we can’t make a fresh commitment to closely evaluate our words and motives about what we say. As someone has quipped, “Let us never be able to say, ‘I won’t bore you with details. I’ve already told you more than I heard myself.’”
For more on evaluating motives and studying the Proverbs, see my books Pure Hearted: The Blessings of Living Out God’s Glory and Heart Wisdom: Daughters of the King Bible Study Series.
Photo Credit:©GettyImages/Marisa9
She also is an internationally traveled speaker and loves to share the hope of heart change, abundant living, and eternal life. She has been Larry’s wife since 1970, and is a mom of two and grandma of two. Website/blog: www.
